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Ask Rashana: Sticky Situations


Dear Rashana,
I have two questions regarding wedding invitation wording and etiquette.
 
First, we're having a farewell brunch the morning after the wedding. I was wondering if it is considered either acceptable or tacky to include a coordinating invitation for the brunch with the wedding invitation, and then leaving a spot on the RSVP card to indicate attendance at the brunch.
 
Second, I'm having trouble figuring out how to word the "host line" of the invitation. The wedding will be hosted by my parents, the groom and myself. I've seen "Together with their families..." and "Together with their parents..." but since only my parents are helping us, how do I give them proper recognition?

Sticky Situations

* * * * * * * * * *

Dear Sticky Situations,
I love post-wedding brunches!  So glad you're having one.
While inviting your guests verbally is acceptable, I definitely support including a coordinating card in your invitation set.  Asking your guests to Rsvp to your brunch on a response card is also fine.  This way, you'll have a better idea of how many of your loved ones you should expect that next morning.  Finally, to keep all components organized, consider a pocket-fold style invitation. Envelopments offers many options for a custom design, as well as Gourmet Invitations (example pictured above).

As for the "host line" on your invitation, this is a touchy situation indeed.  It's understandable that you'd want to recognize your parents' contributions in conjunction with your and your fiance's, but if you ultimately decide to do what's "proper," you may not be able to do both on your wedding invitation.  Based upon my experience and research, you have the following etiquette appropriate options (the first being the best):
  • Bride's Parents in Host Line example: Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Martin request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Rebecca to Robert Anthony Jones ...
  • Bride's Parents in Host Line w/ Groom's Parents receiving respectable mention example:  Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Martin request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Rebecca to Robert Anthony Jones son of Mr. and Mrs. Simon Rudolph Jones ...
  • Couple Only in Host Line example: Rebecca Martin and Robert Anthony Jones invite you to share with them the joy of their marriage ...

When the bride's parents assist with wedding costs, they should always be recognized on the invitation, at the very top.  This is not, however, always the case when the groom's parents assist with wedding costs.  In your situation, you should probably default to giving your parents the honor (illustrated in the first example above).  In the event you are interested in giving your parents proper recognition while also considering the feelings of your groom's parents (which is an extremely gracious gesture), the second example given above could be the way to go.  Finally, if the costs are primarily being taken care of by you and your groom, it's acceptable to move forward with a couple-only host line (as long as your parents insist they aren't interested in having their names in print).

Best of luck to you!
Rashana
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January 21, 2009 at 10:06 PM
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January 23, 2009 at 7:37 AM
i do monograms said…
great advice! love your blog :)
January 23, 2009 at 9:05 AM
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January 23, 2009 at 2:42 PM
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